Okay, so I haven't been around much lately and maybe my PFL posts are a bit much right now (I'm playing catch up here, but I promise I'll be done soon and then it'll spread out more!), but in a way, I've been feeling a little lonely in the past - and the BEA only made it more evident. (And yes, I know I haven't finished my BEA post yet - I'll get there, promise!)
I'm a German girl, ahem, woman blogging in English*, while most of the book blogging community is set in the USA and Canada. So meeting up with other bloggers, getting to know them better or just tweeting at the same time is very, very difficult. It seems as if all the good ideas always pop up on Twitter first, but I only hear about them long after they first started, that way, I feel pretty left out (It doesn't help that this is a sore spot for me because back at school I was always the odd one out because of all the books I read - for pleasure! *gasp*). Also, I don't really get to meet up with anyone. Don't get me wrong, on Day 3 of BEA, I got to meet and talk to a few of my awesome fellow bloggers and it was great, but my lack of abilities when it comes to small talk doesn't help with keeping a conversation going. I still really, really appreciated the time I got to spend with those bloggers. Even with my social awkwardness, it was great to have people talking about books around me!!!
Some days, it really seems as if I'm so far on the outside, I don't even count as part of the book blogging community anymore. And BEA made that even more obvious to me because it seemed as if everyone knew each other there. There were always groups of bloggers running from booth to booth and signing to signing. I didn't have a group to spend time with, so I was just standing there on my own in line after line. I mean, I couldn't possibly just jump right in front of a group of people and say "Hi, I know your blog and absolutely love it!". That would seem soooo stalker-ish (sort of like Kasey's behavior on this season's The Bachelorette)...
Or maybe it's just that while I can still talk about the books I read, I don't get to talk about them with someone else. I just don't know anyone who reads books as soon as they're out in real life, and by the time I can buy the copy, it seems as if everyone already said all that was to say.
So yes, I'm throwing myself a pity party here, and I assume the heat (I'm melting in this room without AC!) and the fact that the guy** (obviously male and so not good for me) seems to be semi-back don't help too much. Even without those additional factors, I would still feel like that, but maybe I wouldn't feel the strong urge to write it out. Come to think of it, what doesn't help either is that I'm a shy person who takes things to the heart - too much, actually. Plus, I think I just revealed how flawed a person I am. I think I'll put me back in the corner of the Dreamworld where I've been for the past 4+ years.
*For the record: I have a German book blog as well, but I tend to feel a little guilty when I rave about a recently released book for which I couldn't even find a German pub date (it happens, although it has gotten better - and I'm no longer one of the few who stick to books in the original). Plus, when I read a book in English, it is easier for me to write about it in English. That way, I don't have to think about the best German word every other sentence. Or maybe it's that I have higher expectations for my book reviews when I write them in German. The ones you find here are pretty much as I would talk - only with less hmm's.
** From now on TG, should I ever feel the need to refer to him again.
13 comments:
Hopping by your blog via the blog hop!!
Hi there...stopping by from the follow friday hop...:D Intersting blog...Im a new follow and look forward to checking things out...:D
You went to BEA? Wow! You are more in the loop than I am! It does often feel as though the whole blogging world revolves around America and that those of us outside the US are out of the loop. I can only suggest that you stop worrying about the gossip and being the first to know everything. Find your own little community of bloggers (there are a lot of fantastic ones in Europe and the rest of the world as well as in the US). Hopefully you'll find a few that live near to you and then you can meet up with them. It is really hard when everyone seems to know everyone else, but there is space for everyone here. Good luck ((Hugs))
Found your blog through the hop, and am now following!
I def. understand where you're coming from about feeling left out sometimes. I've only been blogging for a year, and I sometimes feel lightyears behind from other bloggers who seem to have been doing this forever. I just try to comment on blogs and tweets- network, network, network! Though by a small amount, it's paid off :)
Btw, I watch the bachelorette too! You should follow @jenniferweiner . She makes the funniest tweets while she watches it!
Hey, I am based in Canada so I guess you're kind of right. A lot of my favorite bloggers are overseas though (Iris, Kinna, Stu, among others) so I know what you mean about it being hard to connect sometimes.
I always thought I was shy but I'm finding that online I am less shy, and at BEA I was a lot more outgoing than usual, I think because I already talked to people online, if that makes sense! I was much more forward about going up and saying hi. So although I knew no one going down, I still managed to meet some people. I wish we could have another sooner :)
Oh, and hi, I know your blog and absolutely love it :D
I know how you feel, I am a very quiet, reserved person when I am in a group. I never know what to say or how to keep the conversation going. Kinda stinks sometimes doesnt it?
I love your blog and look forward to getting to know you.
Thank you for your awesome comments! I'm feeling better now. I'll send out hugs to each and every one of you :) xoxo
Jackie, yes, I went to BEA. I was in desperate need of a vacation, so I decided that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Although, maybe I'll go again. It was awesome!!! If you ever want to go, let me know and we can room together ;)
Collegiate Bookworm, thanks for letting me know about Jennifer Weiner's tweets. I'll keep my eyes open! I can't wait for the Turkey episode. So glad Justin finally leaves!!!
Amy, thank you! Even being at BEA didn't help me. It was like an candy store with a foreign language. Makes me even more nervous. *sigh* Are you at BEA every year?
SenoraG, definitely! I hate that I'm so shy and quiet in bigger groups (bigger as in 5+ people I don't know well yet)...
Nope, this was my first year at BEA. I only started blogging in January actually. What about you? Do you go every year?
It was also my first year. It's kind of expensive to travel to America for the BEA only when you live in Germany. But I would love to go again :)
Are you planning for another BEA next year?
Understandable! I only went because I travel for work so I had hotel and airline points that I could use. And I'm not sure, I would love to go again but it just depends if I can get the time off again. You?
Also, have you seen the posts about planning for a possible EU Book Blogger Convention next year?!
Oh, that of course helps, Amy :) If I can figure out a way to save up enough money and a way to not miss too many classes (May is the middle of semester for me), I would definitely do it again!
As for the EU BBCon - I don't think I can afford two bookish conventions in one year. It's so expensive and in the end, I have to pay other things that are more important.
Makes sense Kathrin. Do you think you would choose NYC BEA again if you can do one?
Amy, I'm so sorry! I just found your comment by sheer luck, so I'm replying now, and maybe you'll get still it?
I would definitely go to BEA NYC again, however, I can't skip classes this year as I did last year. I hope to make it another year, though. It is definitely something I would love to do, as you do get around and run into people you wouldn't otherwise meet.
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